i feel that there's a gap growing btw me and the someof the friends i have in church. its like now i almost no longer interact with them. its sad, that friendships that u build over time, which u thought could be strong enuf to stand the test of time, could disappear in a short time. its juz like there's this guy in church, who called me one of his good frens, and used to bug me the whole time abt how to woo this girl he likes. he could call me to talk or chat online wif me for hours each time, and it was often tt it happened. he'd keep me awake till the early hrs of morning, even though i haf to slp, juz to ask me how to do stuff. well... recently he's been mixing alot wif others, and i feel like i've been used. its like after getting tt girl, its like i'm now of no use to him. its so infuriating. we hardly talk anymore, unless with alot of persuasion frm me, or whenever he needs help. well... alot of christians are like tt... when times are bad they're always seeking ur help... when the good times are there, they're nowhere to be found.


sadly... even she hasn't kept her promise... help me to quit smoking? she hasn't even asked me how i've been or how i'm getting along wif my quitting. its like driving me totaking it up again... and pple ask me how i can remain emotionless or even laugh when comething realli, realli bad has happened to someone. my answer is the same always - that i've been hurt emotionally by pple i realli thot were my frens, so much so that i've almost lost all feelings of suffering and pain. there are pple who love me, but i'm already so numbed by these negative feelings that i can hardly return the favour. my heart is so numbed by the things that pple haf done to me, tt i juz shut my real emotions away from the pple i noe, preferring to hide behind a facade, one that will protect me from the lies and hypocrisy of the pple around me.

legendary_slacker was haunted by memories on 4/20/2004 01:58:00 am.