Well... As of late I've been seeing and thinking abt people and some past stuff tt has been making me depressed. I dunno why I think abt them. Sometimes its coz of "W", and other times its coz of "X". Why am I feeling depressed coz of the thoughs tt are pinging about in my head? I guess maybe its coz I feel insecure abt myself, abt my ability to interact well wif girls I used to and currently like. I pray tt someday soon I'll be free of my chains, the obstacles tt prevent my carrying on with the life I wana lead. Well, its not only becoz of girls, there's also many other factors, like my past. There used to be many rumours abt me, tt I was a gangster, druggie, smoker, non-virgin, bad influence and other stuff. I knoe who many of those who started the rumours are, and I've forgiven them, but somehow they(the rumours) keep coming back to bite me in the ass. There's still alot of pple in church who wouldn't wana associate with me, telling their children to stay away from me. Why is this all happening to me? Why do people continue to assiociate the bad habits their children pick up to me? There's only a handful of pple who realli understand me, and luckily, there's also some adults who, thank God, don't believe in the rumours.


Like I've earlier said, I've forgiven them, those who have done me wrong, but I haf not as yet forgotten abt the things they said. It still hurts deep inside, like broken ribs pricking my lungs, trying to make a hole to collaspe my lungs, to make me choke slowly, dying with wheezes and eyes tt will nearly pop outa their sockets. Not a good way to die, though. Well... If I forget these past incidents, I cld maybe start afresh, which is what I wld love to do. But sadly, there are others, who choose to believe in lies, who choose not to forget what has been said abt me. Tt is their choice, but ultimately, these unforgiving pple will be the ultimate cause of my downfall. I pray tt these people, who call themselves Christian, will find it in their persecuting minds to stop their thoughtless acts and forgive, and forget, letting the ones whom they've trodden on to start a brand new life, like a newborn child.

legendary_slacker was haunted by memories on 1/28/2004 12:18:00 am.