its been so long since i went church on sunday. the atmosphere is so different from that of cell group. people form up in their cliques on sundays...and they dun bother to talk to anyone, unless they're from their own clique or there's something they need to ask u to do. its so fucked up. wish things weren't this way. already my cell group's already so fragmented, with little cliques here and there. now it seems like alpha's cg is going thru the same thing. actually, every cg is becoming this way. i wonder how a church can function like this. a cg is meant to allow easier teaching of scripture and inculcate a sense of friendship... if a cell breaks apart further, all u have are little cliques who hardly to interact with each other. going to church for me has become so mundane. like there's nothing for me to go there for. its like an everyday chore for me. the church, from a place of worship, fellowship and learning, in the case of ang mo kio methodist church's youth, have become like a body whose vital organs refuse to cooperate with each other. sooner or laster, the body will be overwhelmed with problems and die a slow, horrible and distasteful death. tried talking to people, but it seems no use. pple who initially opposed cliques have banded into cliques themselves. its so screwed up.


the spirit of fellowship i used to exerience in sec 1 and 2 has disappeared. when and how? no one knows. but did it have to be this way? i don't think so. if people were more open-minded and without rumours spreading around like bushfires,i dun tink the youth of amkmc would be wad it is today. nelson goh once told me, when i wanted to leave the church, that no man is an island and can't exist without fellowship. his words are God-given and true, but if no one wants to truly fellowship, then wad is to become of the youth? wad will happen to us? looking at the adults in church, i find that they fellowship well and truly with each other, be it with cg members or otherwise. they can socialise with one another, and there's no problems. i wonder why the youth can't be like the adults...


and so i guess... the only people who i actually still consider my frens in church are jian min, puiyee, nelson and a couple of others... i wish things weren't this way though...i guess... i wun attend cg anymore, since its become so... segregated... no fellowship... one clique here and another there. and i dun tink i wana go lunch with the others anymore... its become boring to lunch with them... they're like sitting and talking to one another in their cliques. dun ask me why i dun join in the conversation. its juz tt i'll find it damn fucked up if people started accusing me of being in a clique and a hypocrite... and i probably would start hitting pple if such a thing happened... summary : the yf is fucked up, period.

legendary_slacker was haunted by memories on 8/29/2004 01:46:00 pm.